Translating the poem "Elusive Dream"

This poem is not from Obsidian Trilogy. It's just a story about a girl who tries to catch a winged creature, her dream, but fails every time.
Alan and me had a conversation about slanted/obscure rhymes, I remembered that I had a poem built entirely on them and decided to show it to him.
I didn't think he would translate it, it was a very pleasant surprise :)

The original Russian text:

Ускользающей мечте

Ты от меня бежишь
Вольно и легкокрыло:
Бросишься со скалы,
Взмоешь под небеса.

Долго потом стою
Я на краю обрыва:
Нет мне пути к тебе,
Есть только путь назад.

Время пройдет, опять
Небо тебе наскучит.
Вновь мой бескрылый мир
Вздумаешь навестить.

Будешь меня дразнить,
Ближе еще подпустишь,
Чтобы в последний миг
В ясное небо взмыть.

Там, под моей скалой
Берег ласкает море,
Острых камней клыки
Волны его дробят...

Хочется мне порой
Броситься за тобою
И над водой лететь
Так, как мечты летят.


My rough translation

To the dream that slips away

You run away from me,
Free and light-winged,
You jump from the cliff,
You soar up to the sky.

For a long time after
I stay at the edge of the cliff.
There is no way for me to reach you,
There is only a way back.

Time will pass, again
You will get bored in your skies.
Again, you will visit
My wingless world.

You will tease me,
You will let me come even closer,
Only to soar up into the sky
At the last moment.

There, under the cliff,
The sea touches the land gently,
Yet the sharp fangs of the stones
Are crushed by its waves.

Sometimes I want
To jump after you
And fly above the water
Like dreams alone can.



Alan Jackson's translation:

Elusive Dream

You run from me
Your wings so free and light:
Leap from a cliff
Rise in the sky.

Long time I look
On the cliff’s edge standing:
No way to you
Just a way back.

Time will still pass
The sky will bear you high.
Will you come back
To wingless me?

You will tease me,
Lure me, ever nigher,
The last moment
Soar to the sky.

Below my feet
The coast and sea caress;
Bite with stone teeth
Crush with wave-weight

I want, wing-free,
To soar with you, to fly
over the sea
The way dreams fly.

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About the project:
My scifi and fantasy novels have a lot of poems in them that can not be removed without destroying the plot. Alas, my English in not good enough for translating poetry. Alan Jackson helps me translate the poems. It makes the translation of my novels possible.

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Random stuff

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McColl34:
Faith and Hope are fairly common English names. Love is not used as a name as often. It is not unheard of, but not as common. The trio of names first appeared in the Bible (I assume it was first appearance, the letters to the Corinthians were written about 1,900 years ago). Specifically, in First Corinthians 13:13, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." In the original Greek, they would be "πιστις" (pistis), "ελπις" (elpis) and "αγαπη" (agape).
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Aprillen:
The Norns were indeed Fates -- Urd means "fate", Verdandi means "in the making" and Skuld means "future". They would sit at the foot of the World Tree and measure out peoples lives and destinies. (Urd=Wyrd; I'm used to the modernised Norse variants of the names since I'm Scandinavian.)
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I'm a cruel author. Not George Martin style cruel, but still...
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McColl34:
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Mildegard:
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Jourell:
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Jourell:
What we think of as fairy tales and folk tales were originally a lot darker and didn't always have a happy ending. Children weren't necessarily considered different, they had to be taught lessons in a world that was generally a lot harder than it was today. there were often morals yes, but they were as much warnings of things that could happen. For example Hansel and Gretal was about the dangers of trusting strangers, particularly if they deliberately tried to attract children to them. Red Riding hood had sexual undertones and was a warning against rapists. In Cinderella one of the ugly stepsisters cuts off part of her foot to try to fit inside the shoe and the blood gives her away.
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Mildegard:
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Jude Wilkins:
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Mildegard:
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Jan
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Что случилось с русской версией комикса "Дары бродячих льдов"?
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