Translating the poem "Lur, the 'beautiful' city"

Lur is a city of criminals, a local Tortuga. Calling it “beautiful” is an irony few people can resist to use when mentioning it.

After saving Edna from the thugs, Max agrees to take her with him. They join a caravan to travel safely. The “merry bearded dude” was their commander during the journey. The moon mentioned there is a reference to the previous poem (Moon behind me). Keeping the reference is not crucial but would be nice.

The poem sounds as lighthearted as “Hermit”.

The original Russian text:

Прекрасный город Лур

Веселый дядька с бородой
Нас, воинов, созывал.
Огнем – быстрее, чем водой, -
Все зло рассвет смывал.

В тот день мы в дальний путь ушли,
Я был суров и хмур;
И таял медленно в пыли
«Прекрасный город» Лур.

Сгущались тучи надо мной,
Тянули лапы к Ней...
Когда стою к луне спиной,
Я сам луны страшней.

Я клялся, глядя на зарю:
Каким бы ни был бой,
Знай, смерть, что я всегда стою
Меж Нею и тобой.



My rough translation

Lur, the beautiful city
The merry bearded dude
Called us, warriors, to get ready.
With fire - it’s faster than with water -
The sunrise was washing all evil away.

The day we began our long journey
I was stern and gloomy.
Lur, the “beautiful city”
Was growing smaller in the distance.

The clouds were gathering above me,
Trying to reach for Her with their paws…
With the moon behind me,
I’m more terrifying than the moon itself.

Watching the dawn, I made an oath:
Whatever happens in the battle,
Know, death, that I stand
Between Her and you.


Alan Jackson's translation:

Lur, the “Beautiful City”

Our jolly leader,
Our bearded boss,
had us, his warrior band, prepare;
For a new sunrise
Was washing the world
With fire – much faster than water’s care.

So we began
our journey long;
Gloomy my mood, as cold as flint.
But behind us Lur,
The beautiful city
Shrank as further and further we went.

The clouds were gathering
Above my head
Reaching, groping for Her in the gloom
But when I stand
with the moon behind
I am more terrible than the moon.

As I watched that dawn
An oath I swore
That in battle, whatever ills ensue,
Death: know this –
For ever I stand
Between you and Her; between Her and you.


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About the project:
My scifi and fantasy novels have a lot of poems in them that can not be removed without destroying the plot. Alas, my English in not good enough for translating poetry. Alan Jackson helps me translate the poems. It makes the translation of my novels possible.